Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I Think I'm Schizophrenic

Okay, probably not actually schizophrenic. But the alternative is to go with the spiritually depraved "double-minded" and I don't want to do that.

What's causing this? Oh, it's been around for a while.

'I am in two minds about this shot' photo (c) 2010, Nina Matthews - license: I updated my social media pic with a new one that I had taken not too long ago. Now, I think this picture looks pretty damn good. Which is why I picked it. Because I think it looks good.

I have remarkably kind friends who have complimented me on the pic. And my first reaction is to say that it's probably too severe, that I should have one that's of me smiling. And to note that my arms still look pretty fat in this one and are hopefully a little less so now. And that I probably needed to touch up my roots before I had my picture taken. (Remember, I like this picture.)

Another example. I'm tremendously excited about the Not Alone book. I am thrilled that an idea that I had was considered worth pursuing publication, that I was able, even as a small blog, to gather enough stories to fill a book, that I was able to offer suggestions that actually made some of the essays better than they were. I worked hard at this project and I am proud of the result.

Yet every time someone congratulates me about the book, I want to blow it off. My part was small, I didn't really do much, I just got lucky, it's not that original.

I want attention, but I cower if I actually get it. I want praise, but deflect it when it happens. I want grace, but would rather wallow in my guilt.

This week I finally gave a listen to the new Gungor album, Ghosts Upon The Earth and the song Crags and Clay has been jumping out at me. I don't have to be double-minded. I can accept compliments because they are a praise to the One who made me.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made.


Do you have an area where you are double-minded? Go ahead and compliment yourself in the comments today. I want to know what you're doing well so I can join you in the praises!

This is a part of Joy in this Journey's Life: Unmasked link-up. Head over to Joy's site to read more and to add your own!


No comments:

Post a Comment

Blog Design by Eight Days Designs