I admit: I do it. I'll bet you do it, too. (No, I don't mean sex). Comparison. If you're a writer, or a blogger, I've a nasty habit of comparing my efforts up against yours. (I'll bet you do it, too; it is, after all, an entirely human thing to do).
And somewhere in that equation, I always come up short. Life experience, personality, what have you, predispose me to buy into the lie of insignificance.
What is this lie? It's that I'll never measure up, that I'll never accomplish what you have, that I'm too old to pursue my dreams. (I said on my blog recently).
None of this is true. Look at Moses, look at Joshua, look at Caleb, look at Paul--look at the whole host of misfits in Hebrews 11 (the "Hall of Faith").
And yet, knowing this, I still falter. Knowing that almost nothing is irredeemable, I still doubt myself, and my contribution.
I want to say here that I don't doubt God, that my biggest problem with doubt is self-doubt, but that's not true. If the Scriptures are true--and I believe they are--that God "grants us the desires of our hearts," then doubting myself here, in this way, is tantamount to doubting Him.
Because in essence I'm saying "You can't use me, God, who am I to think I have something to say?" That's like saying "Eff You, God. You don't know what you're doing!"
How did God answer Moses when similarly doubted: "Who made the mouth?"
Well, who made my heart--who made your heart?
I'm not saying any of this is easy--this changing of a lifetime's worth of mental tapes--but (as Wilford Brimley would tell you) "it's the right thing to do."
A big part of what this looks like for me is separating myself from unsafe people; as an example, I'm in a season of my life where, for my health, and my family's well-being, I have nothing whatsoever to do with my dad. It's sad, painful, and frustrating, but was entirely the right thing to do. (Please note: this is not about me blaming him for my choices, but taking steps to break free of long-lingering patterns that have existed since childhood). Chances are, you know who the "unsafe people" in your life are, and I would encourage you--hard as it may be--to consider breaking those ties (even for a time).
How can I--how can you--give God any less than the best?
Where do you fight the lie of insignificance in your life?
Randomly Chad since last October. He would be happy if you would read his ramblings there. You can also follow Chad on Twitter.
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