Stuff I've Been Reading

Hi everybody (please imagine that in Doctor Nick's voice and response appropriately)! Enjoy my favorite links from around the internet this week.

• David Hayward over at nakedpastor had two really phenomenal posts this week. Take a minute to enjoy separation and where is the love.
• I'm trying very hard not to be political this year, but I did like this article at Slate about claims of attacks on Rick Santorum's faith. Loved this: "This is a dodge. And when you make a dodge of faith, you cheapen it - not the least because you make the plea seem like just another political move." I think this is good for all of us to remember, political or not. We need to be careful about how quickly we jump to yelling that we're being attacked.
• Knox McCoy just keeps topping himself. Last week I pointed you to his new e-book. This week, I want to let you know about his brilliant new idea, the My Bad Project. This is a chance for people to apologize for the times that they've been jerks in the name of Christianity. Check it out and consider how you might contribute.
• Jeff Goins wrote a very thought-provoking piece about online friendship this week. This is an area that interests me a lot, so it was good to read his take on it. 
• Matthew Paul Turner wrote a beautiful prayer for Lent. 
• My Twitter friend PastorEmJ shared a gorgeous piece about her first grey hair at Joy Bennett's blog this week. She made me cry (and wish that she blogged regularly).
• I'm a huge Harry Potter fan. But I've got to say, this Awkward Family Photo is just...wow.

What have you read/written/watched/listened to this week that moved you? Leave a link in the comments!

Guest post at LeighKramer.com

I know that everyone things that they have the best "how we met" story, but the truth is, Jason and I win. I absolutely love our story, so when Leigh Kramer asked me to participate in her This is How We Met blog series, I was all over it. (And by all over it, I mean, turned it in a week late - sorry Leigh!)

Here's a short excerpt from my piece:

For my entire life, I’ve hated the heat. I am absolutely miserable when I’m hot and most people don’t want to be around me. It’s certainly not when you’d want to meet me because I am not at my most charming when I’m sweaty and gross. 

It was a hot Friday afternoon in June of 1992.  I had just graduated from high school and was just days away from celebrating my 18^th birthday, officially marking my journey to becoming an adult. 

Part of this move to adulthood was that I was putting off the angst of looking for a boyfriend. I had played that game with little success in high school, and wasn’t interested in continuing it into college. I was perfectly content entering college as a single woman and was looking forward to finding myself.

Head on over to Leigh's site to read the rest and to see a picture of us that was taken within minutes of us meeting for the first time.

BlogHer Book Club Review: The Rules of Inheritance by Claire Bidwell Smith

This month the BlogHer Book Club is reading The Rules of Inheritance by Claire Bidwell Smith.

I love memoirs and this was by far one of the most unique books in that genre that I've read. Rather than telling her story in a linear fashion, Claire shares bits and pieces, broken up. Claire at 18. Claire at 22. Claire at 14. Each section gave us a better view of the pieces that we had seen before.

I also loved that because it was, in part, about losing parents, the disjointed story-telling actually helps set the mood. She deals honestly with depression, addiction, and grief. The dialog is all shared without quotes, so the story has almost a free verse form to it.

The pain of losing a parent, let alone both, is one that I have not had to experience. Because Claire lost her parents at such a young age, it affects all of her other relationships. I found the way that she described her interactions with others because of her loss to be powerful.

If you're looking for a unique and affecting memoir, I definitely recommend The Rules of Inheritance. And be sure to stop by BlogHer for an excerpt and for discussions inspired by the book.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of The Rules of Inheritance by Claire Bidwell Smith for the purpose of review and I was compensated for my review, however, my opinions are 100% my own.

What Are You Getting for Lent?

Today is Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of the Lenten season. I think there are generally two questions asked today.

1. Do you need a Tylenol with your coffee this morning? 
2. What are you giving up for Lent?

The first may only be applicable to the residents and visitors of New Orleans, but among church-going folks, the second is common.

Lent is often seen as a time of denying ourselves as a way to remember the sacrifice that Jesus made at the cross. We fast from pop or television or social media or sweets or coffee in order to share in the suffering of Christ.

The practice of the fast can be beneficial. When you want to reach for that thing that you're abstaining from, it's a good reminder to pray for those who have less than you or who are hurting during this season or whatever it is that you've chosen to pray about. And self-denial is a good practice anyway, especially in a culture that can be very me-focused. Remembering that it's not all about you is a good thing.

But while I do appreciate the fast, I think focusing on what we're giving up is the wrong way to go. Instead, I think we need to think about what it is that we hope to gain from our fasting.

• patience?
• empathy?
• humility?
• discipline?
• peace?

Knowing what we're giving up for Lent is easy, but knowing what we're getting for Lent? That's going to actually help us change.

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What are you hoping to gain this Lenten season? 

Dinosaur Disappointments

Growing up, my dad was my primary source for books that were worth reading. He introduced me to some of my very favorite books and authors. One in a long list was Michael Crichton. My dad and I were fans of Jurassic Park and when we heard that it was going to be made into a movie, we couldn't wait to see it. The release was on my dad's birthday, so I made plans to take him to see it to celebrate. Our expectations for this were through the roof on this.

But as we sat there, in the air conditioned theater, our fingers slick with butter from the popcorn, we couldn't help but feel disappointment. Sure, there were some great effects, the sound was amazing, and it's hard not to love Jeff Goldblum, but compared to the book, the movie just didn't measure up. The world that Crichton created was richer and more complicated than Steven Spielberg could ever hope to replicate.

Disappointment happens any time our experience doesn't match our expectations. Sometimes it's an acceptable disappointment, like when a movie doesn't deliver.

But sometimes it feels more profound; more dinosaur-sized. A friendship betrayed. A trust broken. A promise not kept.

These disappointments can weigh us down. We have to choose, time and again, whether to offer a second or third or two-hundred-forty-seventh chance.

More often than I'd like to admit, I find that my disappointment extends to God. Times when I feel like he isn't living up to the promises that he has made based on the actions of those who claim to follow him. In those times, I love these words from the Psalms that remind me that I'm not alone in my struggle, and that there is a greater promise that he has made to each of us:

Answer me quickly, Lord;

my spirit fails.

Do not hide your face from me

or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go.,

for to you I entrust my life.

(Psalm 143:7-8, NIV)

God's love is unfailing. If you've experienced disappointment with God, know today that his love is unfailing. And it is big enough to take down any other disappointments you might experience.

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Have you experienced disappointments in your faith? What encourages you? What movie has left you feeling the most disappointed?

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This is a part of the One Word at a Time Blog Carnival hosted by Peter Pollock. You can read more submissions and add your own here.

Looking for Guest Posts

I've been guesting out a good bit (you can see a list of all of my guest posts here), but it's been a while since I've hosted any guest posts here. I feel bad about that, and would like to change it.

I'm always open to guest posts about unexpected relationships, faith, significance, but right now I'm specifically soliciting guest posts about cross-gender friendships. Do you have a close friend who isn't the same sex as you? Is your spouse in a cross-gender friendship? Have your thoughts about these friendships changed? What have you learned from your opposite-sex friendships?

If you have something to contribute to the conversation, shoot me a message. I'd like to run these pieces over the next two months, so please have a submission to me by next Friday (March 2). You can read my posting guidelines here. You can email your submissions to me here.

I look forward to hearing and sharing your stories!

And if you're interested in signing up for the Sacred Friendship Gathering, there is still space available. Stop by this page for registration information. And if you're going, be sure to let me know so we can hang out. It's just $50 and it's going to be a really great time!

Stuff I've Been Reading

Hey all! Hope you've had a restful weekend. Here are a couple of links to get you through this last day.

• Jamie Wright had an awesome piece just last night about being a Christian tourist. Oh my word, this is one that's going to stick with me a long, long time.
• Sarah Moon wrote an absolutely gorgeous post about why women matter. 
• On a related note, Dianna Anderson wrote an important piece about why feminism matters.
• Shawn Smucker and his family set out on their four month bus tour of America. You simply must subscribe to Shawn's blog. He is such an amazing writer, and I'm sure the next four months are going to be something worth watching.
• If you've wondered about transracial adoption (and even if you haven't), be sure to check out the series that David Nilsen wrote about that topic this week.
• Friend of the blog Knox McCoy released a new e-book this week. If you've been considering writing your own manifesto, don't write another word before you download A Manifesto About Manifestos: A Manifesto, as it has all the tools that you need to write a successful manifesto. Manifesto!
• Finally, I want to take a minute to thank you so much for your support of my post on Thursday. Thanks to the Christians who posted at Hemant's and to the atheists who posted here - stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy, and I love that you were willing to do that. Huge thanks to Hemant for generously offering me a voice on his blog. And to my regular readers, thank you for allowing me to write about things that aren't necessarily safe without fear. That is a gift to me that I don't take for granted.

What have you read/written/watched/listened to this week that moved you? Leave a link in the comment section!