On Being a Fairy

A bit before Christmas I had the distinct pleasure of Skyping with my friend Tamara. She was every bit as delightful as I expected, but what I did not anticipate was just how completely won over I would be by her twins. These two little hobbits (minus the furry feet - as we discussed in our chat, they have "kid feet") charmed me over and over.

But the main reason that these girls are my new favorites is because they called me a fairy.

I have read enough Rainbow Magic books to know that fairies are tiny and adorable, and I am neither of these things. They're also magical and I'm pretty sure I'm not that either. But I probably have some powers that I may have to attribute to my newly acquired fairy status. Here are a few of them.

• Seinfeld quote powers. I have a firm belief that there is a Seinfeld quote for every situation. It is rarely going to be culturally sensitive, but there's a phrase out there and even if I'm not saying it aloud, please know that in my brain, I'm quoting Seinfeld at you.
• Weird Klout bestowing powers. You may have gathered that I have kind of a love-hate relationship with Klout. Regardless, I love finding ways to mock it, and I do that primarily by reveling in my own odd areas of influence, but also by finding...interesting areas of influence for others. So I may not actually find Joy influential in profanity or Sonny influential in Twilight or Kathy influential in refrigerator. But they shall receive +K in all of those. 
• Hat rocking powers. I can and do wear hats. Not everyone has that ability, so it must be related to my fairy magic.
• Late to the party powers. If there's something hip and interesting, I will definitely know about it...six months after it's been popular. I do this with uncanny regularity that can only be attributed to something fairy-like.

You can trip me up with things like requiring me to turn in permission slips for school outings on time, enticing me with "one more game" of Temple Run, or by opening a bag of salt and vinegar chips. 

But for the most part, being a fairy is pretty sweet. 

+++++++++++

What are your fairy powers? What is the most ill-fitting (but well-meaning) title you've been given?