How Substantial Are Your Buns?

photo © 2011 Ron Dollete | more info (via: Wylio)

I love me a messy sandwich. The more self-conscious I feel about having food all over my face, the more I think, "You know, I could use a bib right now," the more drippy goodness that's left on the plate, the more that's something that I'm going to enjoy. No doubt it's why one of my favorite places to eat ever is Primanti Brothers in Pittsburgh (Seriously, if you're ever in the area, go there. You will not be disappointed.).

I like messy sandwiches because most of the time it indicates that there are a lot of flavors on it. Lots of different veggies. Interesting sauces. Maybe some kind of fried goodness. It isn't usually pretty, but oh my. Bring on the flava-flav.

Anyway, while talking to Rich about how much I like messy burgers, I was careful to say that what makes a messy burger acceptable to me was that the bun holds up. We've probably all had a sandwich where the bread or roll holding it all together was far too flimsy for what it was trying to support. It just couldn't handle all that was being asked of it. So instead of just having stuff drip out of your sandwich, the whole thing just falls apart. That kind of messy is not so pleasant. A sloppy, soggy bun is not the most appetizing thing in the world. A solid, substantial bun can let a sandwich be messy while keeping it from turning disgusting.


I started thinking about that regarding relationships I have. I sometimes want things to be neater than they are. I don't want people to see all of those potentially gross things about me that might leave them thinking that I'm not good enough to be their friend. Stuff that might be off-putting or just downright frightening. 
But what I have also discovered is that the more solid the relationship, the more substantial the foundation we're on, the messier I'm allowed to be. The more secure the friendship, the more I feel like I can be honest without worrying that the whole thing will fall apart. 
And when we can be more honest with one another, we bring a whole new depth of flavor to the relationship. We get beyond what we expect into some interesting and just plain cool places. It's not always what we expect and it doesn't always look very attractive, but that deeper knowing can bring far more joy.
I thank you all for being some "substantial buns" here on the blog. I've got some posts that have been sitting in drafts for a while (and at least one that's sitting in the draft section of my brain), waiting to be published, but they're pretty messy. I think this community can handle it and I promise not to drip all over your clothes. And hopefully we can all enjoy a deeper flavor.
Who are some substantial buns in your life?